Monday, April 14, 2008

# 4 FACING OFF TO THE SIDE

Have you ever noticed that Raptor Jesus always looks slightly off to the side in photographs?



The reason for this is a hotly-debated topic. “Scientists” will argue that His peripheral vision forces Him to tilt His head slightly to the side just to see what’s in front of Him. This “evolutionary advantage” allows him to keep on the look-out for natural enemies and other potential predators.

But all true followers know that Raptor Jesus IS a potential predator and that those “scientists” are full of crap.

“Peripheral vision” is just one of the many lies told by heretics and non-believers to discredit our Lord and Savior as nothing but a poor, helpless deity, And while it is true that Raptor Jesus was persecuted for His beliefs, (see picture) He is also a vengeful, ravenous messiah that isn’t afraid to fire off an AK-47 single-handedly to save the life of a baby sheep He wants to eat later. (see post below)

Anyway, the real reason He always poses that way is because it displays Raptor Jesus’ more prominent facial features, making him look that much more mysterious and sexier!

(Rawr! AmIrite?)

1 comment:

MANDERSON said...

wow!


i hadn't noticed til now,
thanks for pointing that out